ONCE THERE WAS A MAN NAMED MURRAY CHOTINER and he taught a young chincapin-eyed Candidate how to get elected all over a place and he told unto this guy with a dog for support here’s going to be the Rules, from now and on to any end of anything, are we clear he asked Mr. Nixon:
1. No ideals and no ideas needed — and no holds barred, make it personal, no such thing as dirty mud you sling, just don’t get noticeably philosophical.
2. For sure, don’t worry about what you promised in Cucamonga when you’re in Tennessee. Lie as much as you like, but more, too, if you do it eye-to-eye like you damned-well meant, and in-addition mean it.
3. Then there’s Rule Three: get used to being bought year-round so you (“naturally”) have to hustle year-round for the best democracy money can buy, etc.; And by all means, stay ready to be bought for thousands by a Koch and by another Koch with billions to blow: be as cheap as you are, said Murray to Dick to rover Grover. God help us all, and any god at all will do.